SNL’s Ted Cruz Tells Trump to ‘Hit Me, Choke Me, Spit in My Face’

NBC

Saturday Night Live kicked off this week’s show with Kate McKinnon’s Laura Ingraham, who used her Fox News platform to trash President Joe Biden’s first year in office.

“Can we all admit it’s a disaster?” she asked her viewers. “Inflation’s out of control, gas is at $19 a gallon and the green M&M has been canceled just for being a whore!”

Her first guest of the night was Aidy Bryant’s Ted Cruz, who began by explaining, “My beard is like January 6th. Shocking at first, but sadly it’s been normalized.” From there, he followed up his humiliating appearance on Tucker Carlson’s show by sending a message directly to Trump. “Donald, if you’re watching, I love you, baby,” he said. “You are the king. Honestly, hit me.”

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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‘I just got hit by a car’: Journalist goes viral for continuing to report after on-air accident

A video of a reporter in West Virginia being hit by a car while doing a live report has gone viral on social media, with many talking about the depths reporters go to get the news out. In the video, the journalist, identified as Tori Yorgey, immediately pulls herself up and continues speaking on camera—despite having just been hit by a car.

“Oh my God. I just got by a car, but I’m okay!” Yorgey says as she falls to the ground. After she gets up, she laughingly says, “You know, that’s live TV for ya! It’s all good! I actually got hit by a car in college, too, just like that. I am so glad I’m okay!”

After her video went viral, Pittsburgh’s Action News 4 team (WTAE-TV) shared that Yorgey would soon be joining their team. In an interview, they spoke to her about the incident.

“I think it was it was all just adrenaline and shock, because, when she had hit me, all I saw for that split second was the car next to my face. And I thought she was running me over, so I was scared in the moment, but I wasn’t hurt,” Yorgey said.

Yorgey, a 25-year-old Philadelphia-area native and Penn State University graduate, was on one of her last assignments for NBC News affiliate WSAZ Wednesday when she was struck by the vehicle. She was reporting from the scene of a water-main break near an apartment complex in Dunbar, West Virginia, when a woman exiting the complex sideswiped her. The entire moment was caught in real-time.

“We’re good, Tim.” pic.twitter.com/9kn2YElDLK

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) January 20, 2022

Clearly shaken up, Yorgey still gave her report and continued working. In an interview with NBC News, she noted that the collision happened so quickly that she doesn’t even remember falling and getting back up.

“I was standing there looking at the camera, and as I’m literally about to speak, I just feel, like, a big ol’ hit in my back, and I just saw the car,” she said. “I thought I was going under the wheel,” she said. “I thought I was getting run over, in that moment. It was really, really scary.” 

“I thought I was going under the wheel.” Tori Yorgey, a reporter for @WSAZnews in West Virginia, was struck by a car during a live shot: https://t.co/5wKlJqVGFZ Join us on @NBCNightlyNews for more of her conversation with @kristendahlgren (check local listings). pic.twitter.com/qERJnwQWW6

— NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt (@NBCNightlyNews) January 20, 2022

While she didn’t remember the moment exactly, it was caught live and shared thousands of times on Twitter. Many applauded Yorgey’s ability to keep calm continue her broadcast, while others noted the risks that reporters can face while doing their jobs—raising questions about how newsrooms and television stations can ensure the safety of their staff.

Glad she’s ok…but if she’s on the side of the road…. Where is her reflective vest?

— Jonathan McCall (@JonathanMcCall) January 20, 2022

Stop sending these reporters out to run their own live shots. Figure out when and how to cut out of the shots. Ensure these anchors have monitors to see the crews in the field. Reevaluate your budgets. This is NOT okay. Praying for her long-term well-being. https://t.co/4MAOPSB4sk

— Nicole Carr (@NicoleFCarr) January 20, 2022

This is makes me ill. Running her own liveshot on the side of the road at night, instead of cutting her feed immediately when she’s hit & the camera goes down the station leaves her up live to keep reporting after being hit by car ??? I just…worry about what TV news has become. https://t.co/SjsnIpoAGG

— Kylen Mills (@KylenMills) January 20, 2022

Putting an MMJ in a dangerous situation for what? An 11pm live shot on a freaking water main break?? Absurd. Stop the dangerous, solo live shots at night. It’s completely unnecessary. A majority of the time, you can’t even see anything behind the reporter. Glad she’s ok. https://t.co/EVXS0C4wmP

— Jesse Hawila (@JesseWFAA) January 20, 2022

The ‘debate’ about solo live shots should not be a debate. We’re losing so many people in this industry for a number of reasons but one of them is because they’re burnt out and overworked as MMJs. One getting hit by a car on live tv shouldn’t be the wake up call.

— Kayla Solomon (@KSolomonReports) January 20, 2022

Because some people took to criticize her colleague’s reaction, Yorgey even clarified on Twitter that he could not see her on his monitor, and didn’t see what was happening at the moment she was struck.

Wow. I am flattered by the kindness and well wishes. I am feeling fine, just a little sore! Thank you all so much. For the record: @WSAZirr couldn’t see what was happening in that moment. He is one of the kindest people I know, and was first to call to check on me. pic.twitter.com/kusuDnEvfG

— Tori Yorgey (@toriyorgeytv) January 20, 2022

After the incident, Yorgey says, the station took her to the hospital to get checked out. While she is sore, she has no broken bones or other serious injuries. Yorgey told NBC News: “I definitely love my job. I would not trade it for the world.”

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Real cancel culture: Organization goes after students who dare protest apartheid in Israel

University of Michigan freshman Reem Al-Khatib was asked to appear in a video supporting the #UMDivest resolution in the student government council. The resolution called for the University’s Board of Regents to create a committee to investigate three companies operating in Israel and involved in alleged human rights violations against Palestinians. The video was pretty innocuous, with her complete statement being, “I’m a Palestinian freshman. I support #UMDivest, because as a Palestinian living in the diaspora, it is my duty to stand up for those who cannot speak for themselves.”

That little statement cost her dearly by landing her on the Canary Mission website. The Canary Mission is a well-funded, secretive organization that uses its website to blacklist activists, professors, and students who dare to speak out against the apartheid being carried out against Palestinians in Israel. Even Jewish students who speak out are labeled antisemitic. According to their website, the Canary Mission “documents people and groups that promote hatred of the USA, Israel, and Jews.” Al-Khatib was lumped in with neo-Nazis and actual terrorist supporters. She felt attacked: “I was pretty irrelevant. … I did … that video, and because I said I was Palestinian, I was the only one that got targeted from that video.”

If you haven’t heard of the Canary Mission, don’t be surprised. The organization has received little or no attention in the U.S. press. Their efforts were so underreported in 2021 that Project Censored listed it as one of the top ten censored stories of the year. Yet the Canary Mission has been relentless in compiling huge dossiers on students across the U.S. with the expressed purpose of ruining their careers along with threats of sending their names to prospective employers. The site has even been used by security officials against the targets on their list. The primary purpose of the Canary Mission seems to be to quell human rights activism for Palestine, which sadly has proven fairly successful.

The Canary Mission first appeared in Apr. 2015 with an online profile for about 140 individuals, almost all undergraduate students in the United States. The profiles were filled with negative content, some downright defamatory, against students who backed the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement for Palestinian rights. Other profiles included students who were outspoken advocates for Palestinian human rights, or who openly criticized Israeli national policy in the occupied territories of the West Bank and the Golan Heights.  

Although they like to create extensive profiles of their targets, you won’t find any list of people who work for the Canary Mission. Their organization’s leadership and membership are strictly anonymous. Canary Mission does not publish information about who runs or funds the website. Its website says it is a nonprofit, but no organization with the name Canary Mission is registered with the IRS. Though Canary Mission’s website does provide a way to donate to the organization via debit or credit card, there is no public record of sponsors or donors. Multiple pro-Israeli organizations and activists have denied being involved with the site, yet investigators have at least discovered who initially backed it.

An independent news website called The Grayzone obtained a document showing that the initial owner of the domain name was Howard David Sterling, a wealthy lawyer and investor.

In an interview with the Jewish National Fund’s IsraelCast, [Howard] Sterling stated that, “People will protect their pocket books. And if they have shares in Israeli companies, they are going to want to protect their pocket books by protecting Israel.”

A family spokesperson denied that Sterling was ever the owner, although the spokesperson could not explain why the website was registered under the name and address of Sterling.

The site disproportionately targets people of color and women. Despite repeated denunciations by university faculty, the Canary Mission continues to make false and misleading attacks. It smears individuals whose opinions it does not like by lobbing unsubstantiated accusations of antisemitism and support for terrorism. Interestingly enough, it leaves alone bigots like Utah tech executive David Bateman, who went on an antisemitic rant that COVID-19 was a Jewish plot. You also won’t find extremist politicians like Marjorie Taylor Greene on the site, even though she routinely uses antisemitism to motivate her base, whether comparing masks to the Holocaust or blaming wildfires on Jewish space lasers.  

The number of people on the Canary Mission blacklist has steadily grown to nearly 2,000 individuals. Their site claims that “every individual and organization [in its database] has been carefully researched and sourced,” yet many of the profiles are filled with misrepresentations and errors. It accuses people of antisemitism, support for terrorism, and hatred of the United States for the most feeble of reasons. Besides employment denials and harassment, several of the people targeted on the site report receiving death threats.

Regarding Al-Khatib, to take one example, her blurb states, “Reem Al-Khatib has expressed support for terrorists and is an activist within BDS.” Naturally, I was curious to see what actions she took or statements she made in support of terrorism, so I visited her profile page. Under her “Support for Terrorists” section, there is a paragraph that begins as follows:

On May 14, 2017, Al-Khatib led other SAFE activists in a videotaped “#SaltWaterChallenge” to support Palestinian prisoners hunger-striking in Israeli jails.

Al-Khatib, in the video, led [00:00:36] others in yelling “Down with apartheid!”.

The “Saltwater Challenge” was held in solidarity with Palestinian inmates hunger-striking in Israeli prisons.

The rest of the entry is about a Palestinian inmate on a hunger strike who was convicted of terrorist acts. The Canary Mission declared that Al-Khatib was a supporter of terrorism because she participated in the Saltwater Challenge, a viral meme challenge that was designed to draw attention to over 1,500 prisoners protesting Israeli prison conditions. That is seriously their entire argument as to why she supports terrorism: because she advocated for better prison conditions, she must be complicit in any crimes that one of the prisoners committed.

The fact is that Israel’s own Public Defense office in the Ministry of Justice has admitted widespread mistreatment of prisoners, including children. There are credible reports of torture and forced confessions with Palestinian detainees. Advocating for better treatment of their prisoners should never equate to support for terrorism, but the Canary Mission goes even further.

Palestinians in Gaza are tear-gassed by Israeli Security Forces at a protest against the U.S. Embassy move from Tel Aviv to Israel.

The site profiled an NYU freshman named Ari Kaplan and charged him with “demonizing Israel at a Jewish event.” Kaplan happens to be Jewish. His “crime” was openly criticizing Trump’s decision to move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem at a Hillel dinner. He joined Palestinian criticism of the move as the Palestinians have as much valid claim to the city as Israel.  

If criticizing Trump’s embassy move is equated with demonizing Israel, then Kaplan would be in good company: Only 16% of Jewish Americans supported the move. Calling out Jewish people for being anti-Jewish is about as ridiculous as accusing Americans of being anti-American, but the right-wing never makes sense in any nation we talk about.

A professor from UC Davis, David Biale, is on the blacklist for his support of BDS, which the Canary Mission incorrectly calls antisemitism. “Canary Mission is solely concerned with anti-Semitism,” an official from the organization said in an email to The California Aggie. “Boycotting Israel is anti-Semitic. BDS is anti-Semitic.” The official, ironically, wouldn’t give his name.

The Canary Mission site does have a section for pleading to get off the site, which requires you to contact them and explain why you should be allowed off. Unfortunately, it appears there are several who were taken down by recanting their activism. The Canary Mission’s practice of extorting apologies is little different than forced confessions of wrongdoing by authoritarian regimes. Most have chosen to not plead to get off the site, yet several have admitted it has caused them to curb their activism for Palestinians.

Many of the Palestinian students on the site have relatives in the West Bank. Israeli security services use the content from Canary Mission to screen the profiled individuals. Israeli border control officers have banned people with profiles from entering Israel and have reportedly used claims made on the website to justify decisions on deportation.  

Others have been subject to harassment by U.S. authorities. One example is of Palestinian-American Ahmad Aburas, who was enrolled at Seton Hall Law School. The Canary Mission contacted school administrators to suggest that statements he made on social media expressed support for terrorism, and school officials contacted the FBI. Aburas was pulled out of class and interrogated by U.S. federal agents.

These attacks have been called “a new form of McCarthyism,” named after the 1950s Republican senator who launched a vociferous campaign against alleged communists in the U.S. government and other institutions. The simple act of accusation of communism led to many innocent Americans being blacklisted and losing their jobs. McCarthy’s true targets were left-leaning influencers, like prominent figures in the entertainment industry, academia, the legal profession and union leaders. In the 1950s, Republican congressional leaders had enough stature to be taken seriously, but that is no longer the case today—especially with the new class of buffoons like Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz, and Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert.

However, with the power of the internet, some of their supporters have found a new way to target and harass liberal activism by ironically using the success our side has had with exposing bigotry in America. Whether it’s the Southern Poverty Law Center monitoring hate group activities, or individual citizens recording videos that showcase blatant bigots engaging in racist attacks, there is a market for exposing them and real consequences for the perpetrators. You can just ask racist New York attorney Aaron Schlossberg or bigoted South Carolina soldier Jonathan Pentland.

To be fair, the Canary Mission and other sites, such as CAMERA, StopAntiSemitism, and StandWithUs, do showcase or profile actual antisemites who are actually recorded doing and saying horrible things. However, each of those sites crosses the line by also equating support for boycotting Israel with antisemitism and encouraging online shaming just for criticizing Israeli policy.

Palestinian-American doctor Fidaa Wishah, for example, posted on Facebook support of Palestinians in Gaza, and that was cited as evidence of antisemitism by the StopAntiSemitism website. As a result, Wishah was fired from her job as a pediatric radiologist at Phoenix Children’s Hospital.

Ideally, sites like Google would investigate and blacklist the blacklisters. After all, Google has already committed millions to fighting misinformation online, and sites like the Canary Mission are being used to terrorize and smear innocent people who are trying to advocate for Palestinian human rights. I doubt Google would ever do that, but there are people trying to fight back. An entire site rose to counter the Canary Mission called Against Canary Mission. It allows activists who have profiles on the Canary Mission to create their own profiles that can hopefully counter the search engine algorithm pushing the Canary Mission smears to the top of the page. 

Unfortunately, the internet is already not a friendly place for Palestinian-Americans. They have been targeted on social media. Instagram and Facebook routinely flag Palestinian content as “sensitive” or remove it with no justification. When Israel conducted a raid on one of Islam’s holiest mosques, Palestinians used the hashtag #ALAqsa (or the Arabic #الاقصى or #الأقصى), to which Facebook and Instagram removed (and later restored) any post with that hashtag because they said it was affiliated with “dangerous organizations and individuals.”

It’s that kind of prejudice that has allowed the Canary Mission to thrive, which is more than a little ironic, since it cloaks itself as a site dedicated to fighting prejudice. There’s not much I can do for those individuals getting smeared on sites like this, but at the very least, I can try to get the word out that having your name on these kinds of sites might not indicate antisemitism. It might mean the person just wants a peaceful means to change policy to ensure marginalized people are treated a little more humanely. That is exactly the kind of person, by the way, that I would want to hire in the first place.

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Florida Man wants to force all sports teams to play the national anthem, because ‘Merica!

The hair-on-fire emergency in the quaggy swamplands of Florida Man’s brain these days isn’t COVID-19—it’s the ghastly thought that somewhere within the sea-buffeted borders of America’s enormous schwanzstucker, a sports-baller might get gruesomely Theismanned without hearing a musical tribute to our nation first. In other words, there’s no limit to the amount of time Republicans will waste, so long as the reason for doing so is sufficiently fatuous.

So with the speed, force, and brutality of Fabio getting hit in the face by a goose on a roller coaster, it’s essential that Florida Man respond with commensurate urgency. He won’t, of course, because performative jingoism is his thing—not, God forbid, helping to save his neighbors’ lives.

Enter Florida state Sen. Joe Gruters, who’s trying to make it illegal for you not to hear “The Star-Spangled Banner” before sporting events … unless you’re passed out drunk in a parking lot port-a-potty, of course—in which case there’s obviously no further need to prove you’re a real American. 

Evan Donovan, a political reporter for WFLA-TV in Tampa, Florida, brought this nonsense to Twitter’s attention on Tuesday. He also noted the bemused reaction of one of Gruters’ Democratic colleagues:

This was the entire committee hearing. Only one question, from @FLSenatorTorres (D-Kissimmee), with a chuckle — “Who doesn’t play the national anthem now?” pic.twitter.com/IcCCMwcXNX

— Evan Donovan (@EvanDonovan) January 18, 2022

For the nontweeters:

TODAY: Florida Senate committee will hear a bill from Fla. Sen. @JoeGruters  (R-Sarasota) that would force professional sports teams in Florida to play the national anthem before games

If they fail to do so, they could face financial penalties or be cut out of future business.

And here’s the partial text of the bill:

(2) PROVISIONS REQUIRED IN CERTAIN AGREEMENTS.—Beginning July 1, 2022, a governmental entity may not enter into an agreement with a professional sports team that requires a financial commitment by the state or a governmental entity unless the agreement includes:

(a) A written verification that the professional sports team will play the United States national anthem at the beginning of each sporting event held at the team’s home venue or other facility controlled by the team for the event.

After Gruters read the bill’s provisions, Sen. Vic Torres, a Democrat, laughed out loud and asked, “Who doesn’t play the national anthem now?”—to which Gruters immediately responded, “I don’t know that there are any known instances in Florida. This is just to make sure as a proactive approach that people continue to play it.”

Okay then! But, yeah, ensuring that everyone in the U.S. has unfettered access to the ballot box is just a silly, pointless overreach.

The bill was reported “favorably” in committee and will now advance to the next step in the legislative process, because God loves to mock me daily with absurdities like this.

And this:

That there is the face of democracy these days, folks. It’s Fabio’s face. Slathered in the blood of a lone, luckless goose. But even though our republic may be wheezing like an unvaxxed Floridian right now, at least the people who are least likely to know the words to patriotic songs are working diligently to compel us all to sing them.

Because that’s the American way, you commie cucks. Get used to it.

It made author Stephen King shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” and prompted comedian Sarah Silverman to say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT.” What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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